Tuesday, October 16, 2007

MR. SERIN MEETS THE HONORABLE KENNY ROGERS!

GENTLEMEN,

Mr. SERIN uploaded a photograph to his Flickr account purporting to be a "business meeting" at the Macaroni Grill. However, if you look to the top right of this enhanced photograph, you will see someone else looking on:



As you can see, Messrs. SERIN and LUPO were sitting next to none other than the Honorable Kenny ROGERS! After noticing these would-be entrepreneurs work on their business plan, he introduced himself to Mr. SERIN. He said:


"Son, I've made a life out of massive focused action,
And spending days on finding ways to get cash back at close.
Of all the funds you siphoned, you don't even have a fraction.
If you'll pass me a shot of wheatgrass, I'll tell you what I know."


Mr. SERIN handed him his wheatgrass shot, and Mr. ROGERS drank it in one gulp. Then the Macaroni Grill became deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression. Mr. ROGERS leaned forward and whispered hoarsely:


"If you're going to play the game, boy, you have to learn to play it right.

"You got to know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em,
know when to walk away,
know when to run."


Turning toward Mr. LUPO, he continued:


"Don't waste your time complaining
about your business partner's blogging.
They'll be plenty time for flogging
when you're underneath the bus."


Mr. SERIN was deeply moved by this meeting, and remembers it to this day -- October 16, 2007.

By October 17, he will have completely forgotten it.

I remain,


M. SINGH

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

USA TODAY SNUBS MR. SERIN IN FAVOR OF MR. SWABY AND FLIPPER NATION!

GENTLEMEN,

USA Today printed an article in today's "Money" section entitled "Many investors feel like running away from homes." Mr. SERIN, who did not run away from his homes but is currently running from his unsecured creditors, was amazingly not featured in this piece. In fact, the usual references to IAFF that would be made in the past were replaced with those to the "Web mockumentary" Flipper Nation. Even more unusual, Mr. SWABY was called on to give a detailed accounting of his finances -- even mentioning his stock picks! Unfortunately, the article's author, Matt KRANTZ, did omit certain details. From their conversation:

KRANTZ: You sold two of your homes in 2005. Where are you investing that money now?

SWABY: I have a high-yield savings account, a diversified stock mutual fund and four stocks: Procter & Gamble, Nortel Networks, Revlon and United Airlines. I also have a pond, filled with koi.

KRANTZ: Are those fish?

SWABY: They can skeletonize a cow in two minutes!

KRANTZ: ...

I read this article over my breakfast, and even spilled my coffee as the words "Nigel SWABY" jumped out at me from the page. Luckily I had my camera handy:





"You're not going to eat that," thinks Lou MINATTI after seeing this picture. "You just staged the photograph. Look at where the plate, coffee, and ashtray are. On the top of the paper?" Guess what, Mr. MINATTI? You are absolutely correct!

Mr. SERIN was informed, on two different occasions in the past seven days, that his fifteen minutes of fame were over. The fact that he wasn't included in the final section, entitled "Flippers deal with their fates," should be a reminder to him that the public is not altogether eager to hear his fate.

I am afraid they already know how the story will end.

I remain,

M. SINGH

Friday, June 1, 2007

GENTLEMEN,

Thank you for your positive comments concerning my admonishment of Mr. SERIN. I am glad it was well received.

I did not expect him to take my call. The reason I called in was that the TalkShoe Live client kept giving me a choppy audio feed, and I noticed from last night that one does not have this problem over the telephone.

Now, concerning my accent:

I listed to my voice on both talkcasts, and even I have trouble recognizing it. This is probably because I called TalkShoe using Vonage on its "lowest quality setting," and it also appears that TalkShoe further compresses the audio stream. (To give a reference point, you may wish to compare Mr. SERIN's voice on the Suze Orman show with his voice on the talkcast. They are barely similar.)

You might also have guessed that TalkShoe normalizes the sound volume, as evidenced by my final statements to Mr. SERIN. The end result in the TalkShoe download was much, much quieter.

In closing, I am glad you enjoyed it -- and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my neighbors. Not only does Mr. SERIN make home ownership more difficult for them, but they also had to listen to me berate him.

I remain,

M. SINGH

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

GENTLEMEN,

Recently, Mr. SERIN expressed interest in living in a van -- assuming it had wireless internet capabilities -- and writing about his experiences for an upcoming novel. How very appropriate that one of his sponsors allows him a vehicle to do just that!

I should also mention that Mr. SERIN, although he does not like your job, has no problems in hiring you. "Anybody interested in contract work?" he asks. "If yes, send me your resume and maybe I can hook you up."

So I did. Granted, this document doesn't read like a CV in the traditional sense -- it is more of a biographical sketch written by a third party. And even then, I must categorically and vehemently deny all the allegations that are made in it against me.

I remain,

M. SINGH

Sunday, May 20, 2007

GENTLEMEN,

As you can see, I included the Hammar Investments portfolio to the right of the page.

Mr. SERIN has no doubt received GoldSpring's recent quarterly report. To save him the trouble of parsing through his pile of unopened mail, I have included it here. In it, he will find that this company will cease mining operations -- possibly until March 2008.

"Looks like dead money getting worse," writes one commentator on BullBoards, a Canadian Web site for penny-stock aficionados. Nobody should know this better than Mr. SERIN -- his purported investment of 1.3 million shares at $0.0034 per unit ($4420) in early April has now dwindled to $1430 with a $0.0011 share price. To use the parlance of Mr. SERIN, assuming he unloads this from his portfolio -- he didn't sell his shares -- he merely returned them, at Galina's insistence. (However, his return was subject to a 68% restocking fee.)

There is still another puzzling aspect of Mr. SERIN's stock purchase. We have seen in the past how he considers himself "health-conscious." He drinks wheatgrass juice, uses organic hair wax, and even abstains from microwaved food. Why then does he support a company that uses the environmentally detrimental practice of cyanide heap leaching? (You can read a more detailed report on the process, and factors involved in its cleanup, from the EPA here.)

GoldSpring "has the only fully permitted and operational cyanide heap leach facility and the accompanying permit in the Comstock Lode region," declares its 2003 annual report to the SEC. Certain proponents of penny stock view this as a good thing. However, there are organized efforts to ban this process in Montana, Colorado, and also internationally. Moreover, this does nothing to help the company's image -- according to that same annual report, GoldSpring was met with opposition while attempting to expand mining operations near Silver City, Nevada. Despite efforts to win public opinion with a barbecue, GoldSpring moaned that the residents of Silver City "[have] always been strongly anti-mining."

Great Basin Mine Watch, a Nevada-based conservation group, used the General Mining Act of 1874 to lay claim to a tract of land perilously close to an affluent suburb. The purpose of this was twofold: One, to show that the Mining Act was woefully outdated; and two, to protect that suburb from mining concerns. Imagine, if you will, the dangers that these Nevada homeowners face on two fronts: Not only do they have to deal with inflated home prices thanks to the predatory practices of Mr. SERIN, but they also have the threat of mining operations in their backyard -- also funded and backed by Mr. SERIN.

What? Did you think it would stop at the Muncy backyard?



I remain,

M. SINGH

Saturday, May 19, 2007

GENTLEMEN,

I must thank you all for your interest in the "M. SINGH Scandal Sheet." I am, however, slightly perplexed by the "897" that appears in the top header and upper left hand corner.

Does this mean that Google guarantees me 897 unique visitors per week, in the same vein that Mr. SWABY receives 2,759 distinct weekly visitors? If this is the case, I would like to commend Google for their incredible commitment to customer service.

Once again, I am overwhelmed by your positive response, and hope to give my readers -- all 897 of them -- the personal attention they so deserve.

I remain,

M. SINGH