Wednesday, June 6, 2007

USA TODAY SNUBS MR. SERIN IN FAVOR OF MR. SWABY AND FLIPPER NATION!

GENTLEMEN,

USA Today printed an article in today's "Money" section entitled "Many investors feel like running away from homes." Mr. SERIN, who did not run away from his homes but is currently running from his unsecured creditors, was amazingly not featured in this piece. In fact, the usual references to IAFF that would be made in the past were replaced with those to the "Web mockumentary" Flipper Nation. Even more unusual, Mr. SWABY was called on to give a detailed accounting of his finances -- even mentioning his stock picks! Unfortunately, the article's author, Matt KRANTZ, did omit certain details. From their conversation:

KRANTZ: You sold two of your homes in 2005. Where are you investing that money now?

SWABY: I have a high-yield savings account, a diversified stock mutual fund and four stocks: Procter & Gamble, Nortel Networks, Revlon and United Airlines. I also have a pond, filled with koi.

KRANTZ: Are those fish?

SWABY: They can skeletonize a cow in two minutes!

KRANTZ: ...

I read this article over my breakfast, and even spilled my coffee as the words "Nigel SWABY" jumped out at me from the page. Luckily I had my camera handy:





"You're not going to eat that," thinks Lou MINATTI after seeing this picture. "You just staged the photograph. Look at where the plate, coffee, and ashtray are. On the top of the paper?" Guess what, Mr. MINATTI? You are absolutely correct!

Mr. SERIN was informed, on two different occasions in the past seven days, that his fifteen minutes of fame were over. The fact that he wasn't included in the final section, entitled "Flippers deal with their fates," should be a reminder to him that the public is not altogether eager to hear his fate.

I am afraid they already know how the story will end.

I remain,

M. SINGH

23 comments:

Akubi said...

Murst!

Akubi said...

That is one horrible looking breakfast BTW. It's almost as distressing as Nigel's Guest Blogger's Friday post.

Lost Cause said...

Casey who?

Lost cause said...

Nigel with his stock picks of P&G betrays his satanic ssympathies. In a place like Utah, that should have the crowds outside his home with brooms and pitchforks.

lawnmower man said...

Nigel claims that USA Today "contacted Casey Serin for his input", and says:

If Mr. Reporter wanted to generate buzz, he should have lead with, "Foreclosed on eight homes, real estate investor turns to penny stocks to get rich."

I think Nigel has yet to realize that there's no "buzz" left in Casey's story. It was easy enough for Nigel to latch onto Casey; it seems to be very hard for him to let go. There ain't no reins on this one.

(I assume that Nigel's Mr. Reporter is a friend of Casey's Mr. Foreclosure and Mr. Debt.)

M. SINGH said...

Madame AKUBI,

Granted, the presentation of the breakfast leaves something to be desired, but I wanted the viewer to appreciate the "semi-vegan" nature of the dish.

Considering I staged the photo, one might ask why I did not attempt to create verisimilitude by using a box of Kellogg's Cornflakes in the photo.

I imagined that the thought of Mr. SWABY "being part of a complete breakfast" would create disturbing mental imagery.

I remain,

M. SINGH

M. SINGH said...

Mr. Lawnmower MAN:

(I assume that Nigel's Mr. Reporter is a friend of Casey's Mr. Foreclosure and Mr. Debt.)

We have seen, in the cases of both Messrs. SWABY and SERIN, how a visit from Mr. REPORTER leads to rejoinders from both Messrs. DENIAL and FILIBUSTER.

Mr. SERIN should take care in his case. After all, "successful Mr. PROSECUTOR is coming to get him!"

I remain,

M. SINGH

JohnDiddler said...

you are a master of some kind.

this story is a muse koy pond vortex.

AXE EFFECT

Lou Minatti said...

I am late here, but you are right, Mr. Singh. That is precisely what I was thinking.

I am still shaking my head over today's news. Unreal.

Egosumabbas said...

M. SINGH:

I would be endeared to have the honor of bearing your children, but unfortunately I have the misfortune of not being female.

Veuillex agréer les plus tendres de mes considerations,
Egosumabbas

Akubi said...

Personally,
I think bearing children is a very BAD idea. "Thingys" and "stuff" are so f-ed up these, how can one even ponder a future beyond the length of a dog's life? And if one believes a SWEET future is happening at this rate, one has their goddamned head up their ass.
Just my personal opinion.

Egosumabbas said...

Akubi:

I take it then you would agree with the statement: "Il pleure dans mon coeur, comme il pleut sur la ville"?

Akubi said...

Personally, I subscribe to the Heart Sutra.

Lou Minatti said...

Honorable Mr. Singh,

I would like to posit the theory that Casey Serin is already back in Sac Town.

Anonymous said...

To the Esteemed M. SINGH

I seem to be in the minority insofar as I thought your tirade against Mr SERIN was somewhat over the top. Having said that, your blog entry and photo did make me laugh. Keep up the good work.

Je reste,
M. ANONYME

Lou Minatti said...

Honorable Mr. Singh,

You have many fans who miss your presence.

Anonymous said...

the sentiments of mr. minatti are shared by many!

Lou Minatti said...

Dear Mr. SINGH,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I await with anticipation your next foray into the realm of Caseytopia. Or should I define your actions as sorties rather than mere forays?

Best regards,
Lou MINATTI

Akubi said...

GENTLEMEN,

I am pleased to announce that the honorable M. SINGH has won this week’s 6 Degrees of Casey SERIN to Mahatma GANDHI game.

In addition, I would like to personally congratulate you for your award-winning entry and hope you might find the time to continue updating your esteemed blog.

I remain,

Madame AKUBI

JohnDiddler said...

great last word on the haterzcast. you're a legend.

Lou Minatti said...

Gentlemen,

In case M. SINGH still peruses this humble blog, may I inform the honorable owner that Mr. Casey Serin has started a new site.

Akubi said...

GENTLEMEN,

Anya just might flip her virtual property again (in a good way) if M. SINGH made his voice heard.

I remain,

AKUBI

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