GENTLEMEN,

Recently, Mr. SERIN expressed interest in living in a van -- assuming it had wireless internet capabilities -- and writing about his experiences for an upcoming novel. How very appropriate that one of his sponsors allows him a vehicle to do just that!

I should also mention that Mr. SERIN, although he does not like your job, has no problems in hiring you. "Anybody interested in contract work?" he asks. "If yes, send me your resume and maybe I can hook you up."

So I did. Granted, this document doesn't read like a CV in the traditional sense -- it is more of a biographical sketch written by a third party. And even then, I must categorically and vehemently deny all the allegations that are made in it against me.

I remain,

M. SINGH